When Attorney and Fatherhood Coach, Robert Aguilar, Jr. experienced his own divorce in 2013 he watched his daily and active relationship with his own daughter being reduced to a court ordered 50/50 split. He would only be able to be with his little girl for half of the year now and it was heartbreaking to say the least. So he was determined to make the most of every moment he could spend with her.
Robert and his daughter were huge Disney fans. Living and growing up in Southern California made going to Disneyland almost a required activity. But when their time together first became limited, going to Disneyland and staying up late became common practice. And focusing on important things like homework, proper bedtimes and discipline began to become an afterthought. Robert was literally becoming a Disney Dad.
The term “Disney Dad” is explained in the Urban Dictionary as “A father who doesn’t have full physical custody of his child. So, to compensate for this he makes the limited time with his child all about fun. The father becomes more like a “friend” that can be more of a bad influence than a parent.”
Robert has spent a lot of his professional time overseeing mediations between divorced couples and outlining custody agreements that were intended to benefit both parents. But rarely were the focus of these disputes on the children and what was best for them. Schedules were created based on the parent’s availability and frankly were heavily influenced by the anger and shame of one or both parties.
When Robert was asked to attend a parent conference at his own daughter’s school he fully expected to hear how wonderful his daughter was and what a delight she was to teach. Instead he learned that she was struggling in school and having difficulty focusing through the day from lack of sleep. It was an eye-opening realization that he wasn’t quite prepared for. And he quickly realized he wasn’t doing what was best for her.
As part of transforming his own parenting methods, Robert began to incorporate this realization in his work with divorced and single dads all over the country. He launched a podcast and a YouTube Show all focused on helping fathers realize their true value. He began coaching fathers and quickly realized the need to educate men on the advantages of spending quality time with their kids and focusing more on being a parent.
Robert recently announced the coming release of his third book, “The Disney Dad’s Survival Guide, Becoming the dad your children need you to be”. The book focuses on the fundamental skills and knowledge dad’s need to know in order to be effective parents and co-parents. Everything from recovering from their own feelings of pain and sadness from a divorce to finding ways to spend less money and more time with their kids.
More information on the release of his new book can be found on his website at www.RobertAguilarJr.coach.